“Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.” -Confucius
As I dive into the 48 Days to Work You Love book by Dan Miller I’m struck with many “um hmmm” and “yes” and “oh you tell ‘em Dan” mumblings out of my mouth. I read a page or two and wanted to highlight most of the words! He has so many one-line truths that make me feel very hopeful and validated. I even feel validated in my confusion of what I’m doing with my life, which is very encouraging. I think I’ve always felt that your job is what defines your success in life – if you climb the corporate ladder just high enough, or if you start your own business and have a bunch of employees, or if you join a network marketing business and build your team to the top level, then that means you were successful in life. With each of these, there would also be a big stream of money that came along with it. Big fancy job, high level career, top earner and lots of money – to me, that was being successful.
I hate that I even put that on paper, I feel like it makes me sound shallow. Yes, I had dreams too, and yes having money sure seems to be the best solution to a lot of life’s hardships. How many times have you taken a job just because of the money? Or better yet, how many times have you tried a job because of the promise of BIG money? You know what I’m talking about. We all have the one friend who is in a network marketing business – not too long ago I was also in one myself. My husband and I got into the business because we loved the products and we wanted to share them with everyone! Naturally, I assumed that every person in my life would want to try them, and I also assumed that the products would literally sell themselves.
At the beginning, lots of friends and family did support us and they gave the products a try. Our business declined as soon as I ran out of friends and family to talk to. I desperatlely wanted our business to succeed because we both wanted that promise of money, more time with the kids, and the cool car that came along with the higher levels of achievement (we did need a new car at the time, so this seemed like a win-win). We stuck with it for two solid years. We went to all the local meetings, and traveled to the BIG meetings out of state, and held our own meetings out of our house.
I wrote ebooks, blogged about the products, shared the products on all forms of social media, messaged and called all my contacts, and as time went on I started to notice a shift in my attitude. I no longer saw people as people – they were a target. I would consider every possible angle I could think of to somehow bring up how my products or business could fix any problems they had. I no longer saw people for who they were – my friends, my family, people God placed in my path on a daily basis that needed His love – they were all possible business associates that could take us to our next level. Ick!!! When I finally realized this I was ashamed of who I had become. That’s not who I am. I love being around people and being there for them when they need something.
I realized my new business that I started with the best intentions had turned into something that I didn’t want to be a part of anymore. And you know what? I didn’t see God’s blessing in it either – it was like we were spinning our wheels and never getting any traction. After the second year of trying to fit a square peg into a circle we finally walked away, and I’m not sorry we did. Let me tell you, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when I could finally love on my friends again without seeing a dollar sign. For me the big selling part to joining a network marketing business was the amount of money and success you could achieve – all depending on how hard you work – I wanted to experience the American Dream of having lots of money, toys, and time. While I think this business model is legit, it’s super hard, and so many of us try and don’t last very long. For those that make it and enjoy it, I applaud you, but for me, I sure hated how much I thought about money and the constant push for more time, more meetings, more people, more…more..more…more.
In the pursuit of my dream, I was sacrificing so many other parts of my life. I was focused too much on money and forgot about caring for people. My good intentions of having a better and more fulfilling life were pushed way off to the side and eventually I lost myself. I toiled so hard in working our business that I didn’t make physical exercise a daily habit, and I quit eating healthy because it took up too much time to prepare healthy food. I only made coffee dates with potential clients instead of just meeting up with a friend to see how they were doing. I stopped volunteering to make dinners for neighbors in need because I was “too busy working”. I quit doing a lot of the things that God put me here on earth, in my state, in my neighborhood, on my street, to do for others. Like I said, it was a big learning experience!
My journey of being a part of a network marketing company taught me many things about myself. I don’t want to sell – period. The funny thing about that is I totally can. I have a personality for days – I can talk to just about anyone, but I hate the feeling of having to “sell” to someone or convince someone they need what I have. It’s not who I am and I’m so glad I found Dan’s book because one thing I’ve learned is that just because I have the skills to do something really well, like selling, it doesn’t mean I have to do that for my job.
Until I figure out what I want to do for my “work” I’m happy that there is more to life than just job success. I saw so many people in my network marketing business that seemed happy on the outside because of their top level achievement, but behind the scenes when no one was looking, they were over-worked, stressed out, and quite possibly unfulfilled. I didn’t want to be one of those people who spent all my time, efforts and energies working on my business and neglected all other parts of my life.
I won’t ever take a job again where I have to convince people to buy something – it just feels wrong to me. For those of you out there who are in a network marketing business and love it – ROCK ON!!! Stick with it if you are loving it and can’t wait to get up every morning to work on it. For me, I’m glad I now know that my job success is not the only piece to a successful life. There are so many other parts to who we are as human beings, and the key is to keep it all in balance and to make deposits into all areas of your life – not just work.
Dan’s book has a whole new take on what really is a successful life. A successful life is so much more than a job or a career. Your work is only a small part of your overall life success, or at least it should be. That’s the key. In Dan’s book, 48 Days To The Work You Love he says, “Work cannot be the only component of a successful, fulfilling life, but it is a very useful tool.” God made us to work and it’s a part of life, but why not have work that is fulfilling both physically, mentally, and spiritually? Yes!!
How in the world do you even figure this out? That’s what I want, a J-O-B that earns money, is fun, exciting, fulfills my spiritual gifts, helps people, and doesn’t feel like work. That’s what I’m looking for. But I have to remind myself that work is not the only part of having a fulfilled life. We need to stop being defined by what we do, but instead by who we are. There are 6 areas of your life that need constant deposits made into them to keep them running – Work, Family, Personal Development, Community, Church, and Recreation. If you spend all your waking hours working, then your family and kids suffer. If you spend all your time with your friends in community – staying out too late then your job suffers and your home life falls apart. If you spend too much time working on personal development by reading books and watching YouTube seminars never leaving your couch, then your health suffers. If you give and give and give to your kids and family always meeting their needs first, then your health and personal development suffer. It’s a nasty cycle of give and take. You give too much to one thing, than everything else suffers. I think a successful life is all about balance – which is so much easier said than done. Am I right?! Success cannot be defined by work alone. Mind-blowing!!!
So…wrap it up Katrina…what do you mean?! For right now, I feel like Dan has just lifted a burden off of me. Work and money are not everything! In our crazy, success-driven American lives, we give our souls to our work and there are lots of other areas of life that are worthy and are part of a successful and fulfilling life. Just dwell on that for a few days…until I have more.
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I was stunned this morning when I was doing my CBS (Community Bible Study) Bible Study on the book of Acts by a quote:
